How to Reduce Pet Separation Anxiety

I wish I could claim a magic cure for my dog (Niki Fury)’s separation anxiety.  But alas, there is no magic pill to take the fear away.  There is, however, one toy that has eased her anxiety and preserved my family's sanity.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links.  Any purchases made through these links may result in commission payment to me, but this will not affect the price you are charged.

My Niki has always been tightly wound.  She came out of the womb this way (literally).  She was the runt of the litter, and—topping out at 95 pounds—she’s still the smallest of her siblings (cross-breeds of an Argentine Dogo and a Great Dane). 

(Nikita and the first half of the litter; Niki Fury is the gray and white one on the far right)

From the moment she was born, she learned to fight.  She fought her way to the milk (no one was going to make room for the runt).  She was the first to open her eyes and the first to howl (no one was going to pay attention to her unless she called attention to herself).  Once she and her littermates were old enough to play, she wrestled her way to the toys (no one was going to share if she didn’t make them). 

Did you know that Great Dane puppies double their body weight every week?  Every.  Week.  The disparity between my Niki and her littermates continued to grow.  But she continued to hold her own among the pack. 

Perhaps this is why she’s so insecure and anxious—nothing came to her for free.  So, even though my mother bottle-fed her (she felt sorry for the runt), Niki still felt like she had to fight for everything. And even though my husband and I love Niki dearly (and consistently), she still suffers from anxiety when we leave the house.

Her anxiety was manageable pre-COVID.  By the time my mom and sister gave her to me (she was born to my sister’s Dogo, Nikita), Niki was kennel-trained.  My husband and I would kennel her when we left the house for work, and she would remain there without a problem (usually).  Sometimes, she would cry when we left (always a heartbreaking sound), but she rarely busted out of the kennel in a full-blown panic.

Then COVID-19 changed everything.

All of a sudden, the world was locked down.  Work became an at-home activity.  My husband and I hardly ever left the house.

As far as Nik was concerned, this was a wonderful development.  Mom and Dad were home all the time, and it was great!  Over the course of the few months, she became accustomed to our constant presence. 

Then, when the lockdowns were lifted, we went back to work.  And everything went south.

Before COVID, my husband and I bought a house.  We have a spare walk-in closet, and it became Niki’s room.  Lest you think we just locked her in a closet all day… let me explain.  Since Nik had been kennel-trained, we thought, “Hey, this is a great upgrade for her.”  Her kennel fit nicely into one corner of the closet (so her “safe space” was readily available when she wanted to hunker down in it), and she had room for an extra mat and for her food and water bowls.  It meant she still had access to the safety of her kennel without limiting her space or restricting her from food and water during the day.

Prior to lockdowns, her “room” was her palace.

Post-lockdowns, it became (at least, in her mind) her prison. 

The breaking point came when we returned home to find her mouth bloodied and the doorframe chewed—she’d tried to eat her way out.  We knew then that something had to change.  We couldn’t let her anxiety dictate our schedules, but neither could we sit idly by while she suffered.

We tried moving her kennel to our bedroom.  Even though it meant she would need to be kenneled again (to keep her out of trouble), we hoped that our scent would be enough to keep her calm.

It wasn’t.

We would come home to a room torn up, a kennel bent out of shape, and a Niki bruised and battered—apparently, she was using her face as a battering ram to bust her way out of the kennel.

Then, like a miracle, we found the one thing that made a difference:

A Kong filled with peanut butter.

We began giving her peanut butter whenever we left so that she’d associate our absence with her favorite treat.  Improvement didn’t happen overnight, but with time, her anxiety reduced significantly.  Now, she actually looks forward to us leaving because it means she’ll get peanut butter.

Because Nik is such a heavy chewer, we buy the big black Kong that is made of strong, durable rubber.  Previously, we’d bought the red one, but she chewed off the tapered end to allow easier access to the peanut butter from either side.  Even though we’ve upgraded, we still have to replace her Kong at least once a year; despite the product’s quality and strength, our Nik is persistent enough to tear through them over time.  But the annual expense is significantly less than the cost of constant repairs to our doorframe… or to Nik’s wellbeing. 

Because her anxiety has reduced, we no longer kennel her when we leave but give her free rein of our room.  Every now and then, she still gets into stuff she’s not supposed to.  But those episodes are few and far between, thanks to the distraction of her favorite treat.

We’ve even trained her to bring us her Kong when we leave the house.  As we prepare to go, we ask her, “Niki, where’s your toy?”  And she bounds away in search of it.  When she returns to us, she drops the Kong so that it smacks loudly into the ground.  If she doesn’t drop it close enough to us, we make her get it again and bring it closer.

Of course, now she thinks that if she brings us her toy anytime… we have to give her peanut butter, right?  And if we don't give her peanut butter immediately, then we must have misunderstood. So she picks up her Kong and drops it in front of us... again and again and again...

Oh, well.  Small price to pay for her mental health.  And ours.

(Niki Fury with her Marvel dog collar)

Do you have another method for reducing pet separation anxiety? What's worked for you? Let me know in the comments!